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Feb. 1st, 2009 02:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chronicpaintFinally saw Milk on Friday night. Loved it. Got so swept up in the man and his life that I don't think I can evaluate the film at all. What a man and what a set of accomplishments. I think that's ultimately an amazing compliment to the film, that I can't really think of anything to say about the script or the performances, because of the story it told me. I knew of Harvey Milk and the assassination but not really from that time. I was in high school and I doubt such news would have made it to Saskatchewan. But somewhere in my life, his story drifted into my burgeoning gay consciousness.
Makes me wonder if I have a legacy to leave. Certainly nothing like his, that's for sure. I have not guided any political change. Maybe on some small scale, I have impacted the world around me and have an impression on it.
Yesterday, I had a new friend over for dinner. I cleaned all day, and cooked him Aloo Gobi, as he's a vegetarian. It's also something I love cooking and it makes a ton, so I have lots for leftovers. I forget sometimes that I actually like cooking. I hardly ever do it, but this recipe has just enough prep to be kind of meditative. And it takes several steps, which are not all that difficult, but make me take my time and plan and I can watch the dish come together in stages.
Anyway, we had a nice talk over dinner, then watched a ridiculous action movie, War, with Jason Statham, who really just needs to appear in it to make a movie worthwhile, and Jet Li. Actually had a couple of plot twists I didn't see coming. An amusing diversion.
While we sat there, his physicality was very closed. I'm touchy feely, so I hugged him when he arrived and again in the kitchen. I touched his knee at a couple of points. After the movie, we were going to watch the latest ep of BSG, so I was burning it to a CD so we could watch it on the TV. I figured in for a penny, in for a pound, and leaned over and kissed him. His lips yielded to mine, his tongue coming gently into my mouth.
It's funny how, in my mind, my kissing him is a clear, unambiguous sign of my interest, and yet, his kissing me back is somehow, in my mind, fraught with mystery and unclear meaning.
We kissed a couple of times again, me leading. But then he announced he had to head home, in a way that felt sudden and like he was bolting. But then his lips opened to mine again when I kissed him goodbye. We left it saying that we would speak again soon.
Men are mysteries within enigmas within puzzles.
I also talked to A yesterday and he acknowledged that he shouldn't have told me and that he and B talked right after and B was livid. They seem to have smoothed it over. And A knows I meant no harm and has accepted my apology. I haven' talked to B and I'm not sure I should or will even try. My only real concern, which was my friendship with A is safe. And the lessons have been learned on both sides.
And now, I am sitting in Tango Palace window, the sun on my face, warm and sated and despite my wonderings, happy. Just wishing there was someone across the table from me, sharing this day, sharing my mood and my heart. But knowing that, in so many ways, life is good.
Makes me wonder if I have a legacy to leave. Certainly nothing like his, that's for sure. I have not guided any political change. Maybe on some small scale, I have impacted the world around me and have an impression on it.
Yesterday, I had a new friend over for dinner. I cleaned all day, and cooked him Aloo Gobi, as he's a vegetarian. It's also something I love cooking and it makes a ton, so I have lots for leftovers. I forget sometimes that I actually like cooking. I hardly ever do it, but this recipe has just enough prep to be kind of meditative. And it takes several steps, which are not all that difficult, but make me take my time and plan and I can watch the dish come together in stages.
Anyway, we had a nice talk over dinner, then watched a ridiculous action movie, War, with Jason Statham, who really just needs to appear in it to make a movie worthwhile, and Jet Li. Actually had a couple of plot twists I didn't see coming. An amusing diversion.
While we sat there, his physicality was very closed. I'm touchy feely, so I hugged him when he arrived and again in the kitchen. I touched his knee at a couple of points. After the movie, we were going to watch the latest ep of BSG, so I was burning it to a CD so we could watch it on the TV. I figured in for a penny, in for a pound, and leaned over and kissed him. His lips yielded to mine, his tongue coming gently into my mouth.
It's funny how, in my mind, my kissing him is a clear, unambiguous sign of my interest, and yet, his kissing me back is somehow, in my mind, fraught with mystery and unclear meaning.
We kissed a couple of times again, me leading. But then he announced he had to head home, in a way that felt sudden and like he was bolting. But then his lips opened to mine again when I kissed him goodbye. We left it saying that we would speak again soon.
Men are mysteries within enigmas within puzzles.
I also talked to A yesterday and he acknowledged that he shouldn't have told me and that he and B talked right after and B was livid. They seem to have smoothed it over. And A knows I meant no harm and has accepted my apology. I haven' talked to B and I'm not sure I should or will even try. My only real concern, which was my friendship with A is safe. And the lessons have been learned on both sides.
And now, I am sitting in Tango Palace window, the sun on my face, warm and sated and despite my wonderings, happy. Just wishing there was someone across the table from me, sharing this day, sharing my mood and my heart. But knowing that, in so many ways, life is good.
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no subject
on 2009-02-01 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-01 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-01 10:51 pm (UTC)But yum!
PS I wish I were there, across the table, holding your hand and smiling! We both deserve that! *smooch*
no subject
on 2009-02-01 11:14 pm (UTC)And sitting there across the table from you would be lovely :)
no subject
on 2009-02-02 08:21 am (UTC)Maybe not, but you'll leave behind a fabulous photo series!
no subject
on 2009-02-02 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-02 03:10 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-02 05:49 pm (UTC)