Resolve

[chronicpaint]

 Well, I've made my choices of the pictures that speak to me, that show something I want to show. Bill is posting them tomorrow and once he has, he's sending me the html so I can post them myself. 

I'm going to do a friend locked post tomorrow and hide the nekkidness behind a cut.  If any of you want to see, you may make that decision for yourself. 

It's time to throw myself into the wind. And see where I land.

Comments

[eric-mathgeek.livejournal.com]

I'm looking forward to them.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Thanks, handsome. Whatever I may think of my body, the images are beautiful in their truth.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

I would like to see them; given what you say above, I will presume you feel comfortable with my doing so.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

I leave that to your discretion :) I am able, at least, to look at them and realize that if they were of someone else, I would think they are amazingly true and real. And I'm working on extending that belief to embrace my part in them

[kyana.livejournal.com]

Yesterday I was reading my "friendsfriends" list (which I hadn't done in a long time) and I'm very glad I did because I found your journal! Thanks for adding me back....

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. :) You came in at a pretty dramatic point :D

[kyana.livejournal.com]

I see that! I've had Bill on my friends list for a long time (he's not added me back -- which is fine!) and I do enjoy his wonderful photos.

I use a crutch (or two, sometimes), too -- and the fact that you had pics taken with your crutch intrigues me (more than any other body parts -- ha!) I think I can identify with some of the body issues you've described...

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you can relate, Nancy. Thanks for coming aboard

[mindel-73.livejournal.com]

I look forward to seeing them. You know that you are always beautiful to me and have been since the moment we met. We are always the hardest on ourselves. I think it is a dramatic shift that occurs when we can finally look at ourselves and see ourselves beautiful. I continue to struggle with that on a daily basis. Some days I see beauty and other days I see fat girl..I hope that from these pictures you will come to see yourself as beautiful as I have always seen you. :)

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

[men-in-full.livejournal.com]

Hi, here from bitterlawngnome's LJ. I already left a comment there about how much I like the shoot; just wanted to say "Hi," and hope it's OK to friend you.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for your words. Over there and over here. And you are most welcome on my friend list

[men-in-full.livejournal.com]

Just gave you a shout-out on my own LJ.

About the one shot where you're pointing with the crutch - personally, it's one of my favorites. My sister uses a cane when she goes out, and I do on occasion (with my bad knees.) She points with her cane to emphasize something in conversation, and it's pretty awesome when she does that in public. Because the standard social "picture" of someone with a cane or crutch is quite different from the actual effect of an engaged, energetic woman gesturing with her cane.

Her forthrightness has made me a lot less self-conscious about using my own cane when I need it. (Sometimes I wave mine at people in parking lots, when I'm afraid they're going to run me over for walking "too slowly.") So that's why I like that particular one ... :D

Also, if you don't mind a straight gal saying so, I think your form comes across as attractive & sensual in the photos. Thanks for sharing these ...

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

I saw! Thanks. Can you tell them to buy my book now too????? :D

[men-in-full.livejournal.com]

I linked to your book via Amazon, and I am thinking of buying it myself, for a friend who is recovering from cancer.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks! :) You're too kind!

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Hi. Got here from Bill's post. Sooo much to say, mostly that I identify. You said in a recent post:

The pictures didn't make me feel ugly. My reaction to them showed me that I already felt ugly. That maybe I have my whole life.

That was how it was for me. I still go there, sometimes. And it's weird: these days I can feel reassured by reminders from others that I'm not ugly. In fact, most of the time I don't even feel ugly any more. But in the past I could (and did) easily dismiss the approval of others, because the conviction of my ugliness was very strong. So while I wouldn't say it is solely a matter of how we see ourselves--we are social creatures, after all--I think it starts inside.

I hope you've started to see yourself more attractively; it sounds as if you have. If it's any help, add me to the chorus of people who look at you and think "handsome." Or "sexy." Or whatever works for you.

As for the bravery it takes to put yourself out there, let's just say I identify with that, too. These days I find it fairly easy to do that ... but it's a case of practice makes perfect. ;-)

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this, and for stopping by for a visit. I'm feeling really good about doing this shoot and putting the results out there.

[gryphons-hole.livejournal.com]

For whatever my opinion is worth, the photos are beautiful. As are you.

I am a survivor of non-Hodgkins lymphoma, Burkitt's type. Except for a now rather small scar under my left armpit, my body is unmarked. The insides, however, are a different matter entirely. For going on almost five years, those scars are surprisingly fresh...

Thank you for this part of your journey. And thank you for crossing my path.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

The scars last a long time, my friend. I'm glad you survived and thank you for reaching out. I'm here and will always listen if you need me to

[gryphons-hole.livejournal.com]

I suppose I am not one to expect scars to ever go fully away, I am just surprised at how long it took me to find them...

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

One of my friends calls them time bombs. They can take a long time to detonate