Question #2

[chronicpaint]

How would you say that being a cancer survivor has changed you most emotionally/mentally?

I think it... brought me into focus, for want of a better term. I'm realizing I was probably always strong, I just never realized it until I had to.

It made me appreciate my life more, inhabit it more. I've always been pretty determined to live in the moments of my life, to be glad of what I have and not worry too much about what I don't have. But I'm much more committed, I think.

I think I'm brave, less worried about what people think or of being rejected. I'm more willing to be myself

But I think it's also made me harder, less accessible. I have much less patience with people whose problems seem minor in comparison. It's something I'm working on

Comments

[gryphons-hole.livejournal.com]

If you ever manage the more patience for minor problems thing, please let me know... I could use a tip or two.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

I have to keep reminding myself that my circumstances were extraordinary, and that, by extension, I am too. I can't expect people to have the same yardstick with metastatic synovial sarcoma at the top end.

One of my best friends once told me that the worst thing someone has gone through is still the worst thing they've gone through, no matter how it compares with anything you've experienced.

[gryphons-hole.livejournal.com]

I do get that last part; it is the worst thing they have gone through...

That said, when a splinter brings out a bring whine than a tumor, it leaves me in a non-gracious place where I wish they had something worse to shut them up...

And I do feel people have the right to express experiences as it suits them, but these days they seem to leave off the part of responsibility for their choices, whining about tiny things may lead people with bigger issues to tell you to fuck off... I have the choice to not want them around me.

[gryphons-hole.livejournal.com]

That reads much harsher than I feel I mean it, but the core of the sentiment is true...

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

True. I have no patience for people who make a huge deal out of the store being out of their favourite brand of coffee.

What I'm talking about are the people who have something going on that is genuinely worthy of a strong emotional response. I have had to work on stopping myself from thinking "Yeah, well I had CANCER!!!!!"

Life isn't a contest where we compare our joys and our sorrows on some kind of point system.