chronicpaint | Bits n' pieces

Went to Loomis last night and bought what I actually needed. Found out I may be able to return the tub o' gesso that I bought by mistake. The catch is I have to go in during the day to make my case to a manager. Hmm, may have to use some flex time.

My copy of the Doctor Who series 3 soundtrack came from Amazon.co.uk on Tuesday. Murray Gold is amazing. He writes beautiful, evocative music that really gets inside me. Martha's Theme is lovely, and a really interesting counterpoint to Rose's Theme. There's something more solid, patient about it. Where Rose bitched about being a lunch lady for three days in School Reunion, Martha scrubbed floors for months in Human Nature/Family of Blood in a more racist era. It's kind of the difference between the two characters. Rose was swing in on a rope to save the Doctor, but Martha walked the world for a year to save the world. This new CD is more symphonic, more sweeping. There's not quite the musical variation as on the first CD, but it's lush and evocative, heartfelt. And yes, I am a total Doctor Who Geek.

Bought Gail Simone's first issue of Wonder Woman yesterday. Nice to see a confident, strong Diana. No "Who am I? Why am I here? angst. She kicks some gorilla @$$ in the opening scene, but then uses her wisdom to bend them to her will without having to kill anyone. There seems to be an interesting twist to her origin coming which I look forward to seeing. And we get the nice return of Etta Candy in an interesting new version of the character. The issue, on the whole is a bit offbeat, but I'm interested to see where Simone goes with it. Apparently she has a big space opera storyline coming up after the first arc which could be interesting too.

I think the guy that I kind of LIKE has figured out that he's the one, because he's acting differently around me. It's not terribly surprising, as I'm sure I'm nowhere near as subtle as I think I am. I guess now I have to have the "honestly, it's no big deal. I really would rather hang out and be friends than not have anything to do with you." A crush can be gotten over quickly. I've had lots of practice and the fun we had (or at least, that I had) hanging out with him is more important than anything else. *sigh* Perhaps there's a monastery nearby with an opening???

I think the reason I fiddled about with this stupid crush-like thing rather than dealing with it head on is the buried belief that I'm just not attractive. It may sound like I'm fishing for compliments, but I'm really not. In my forebrain, I know that I'm a reasonably good looking, intelligent, funny, all around good catch of a guy. But that belief that I'm still the fat kid no one liked in grade school is buried really deep and I've been working on rooting it out for a long time. It's a constant back and forth, two steps forward, three steps back kind of thing. And it turns into a self fulfilling prophecy kind of thing. I don't believe I'm a catch, so I act in an offputting way, which just confirms that subterranean core belief. *sigh* No, really, anyone know a good monastery around here??