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I've been neglecting you
Feb. 8th, 2010 12:14 pmAnd I know it. My online presence is fading. Must do something about that
This book looks interesting. I have always struggled with the notion of what to hold out for, what to accept when it comes to matters of love, the heart and relationships. I wonder often how much I have been brainwashed by one too many love songs. I am mostly the guy that guys flirt with right before they fall in love with or start relationships with someone else. Even worse, I'm the guy that they confide in once the guy they chose over me turns out to be a complete dick. And lest, you wonder about the state of my ego, despite any occasional swerves into self-pity, I know I am a catch. I'm smart, handsome, loving and loyal. The kind of guy that would be great to date. I know I am flawed. I am terrible with money, but it's my own money and not anyone else's and I'm working at improving. I can be demanding of people and I am working on that too. Like they sing in Rent "Life's too short, babe. Time is flyin'. I'm lookin' for baggage that goes with mine."
I seem to be a huge hit with Latino men these days. A couple of playmates eager for return engagements have been from Cuba and Ecuador respectively. And I have guys from Brazil and Argentina quite smitten with me online. Odd, but interesting.
As always, there are handsome men that I am in spinning, flirtatious orbit with. Which may or may not lead to play or dating or something. But, all too often, those orbits are unstable and suddenly decay, sending the object of the flirtation off into the ether never to be heard from again. Or in crackly, static filled dispatches from out in the dart reiterating interest, though they are nowhere to be seen on the star charts.
I am having a movie night with M, the guy that I met over Christmas, the one that promptly started seeing someone from the edges of my circle of friends (who is completely not good enough for M) Should be fun to hang out again. A teeny part of my brain is wondering at the possibilities of having him in my home, but I am too realistic to really anticipate any whack bang wiggle wiggle.
Have a cold, finally, after having remained healthy through the winter so far. This seems to be the time of year that it hits me. And, like the unpleasant guest, far overstays its welcome. Ah, the aging body. I remember when colds were out of my system withing three or four days. *sigh*
Still slowly doing edits for Chasing Cold, very slowly cutting bits out and cleaning up text. And it's sheer agony most days. Started notes on another book, tentative title, Blind Luck. About a guy who can change his own luck or the luck of those around him. An initial outflow of ideas, but the mechanics of the story are still eluding me.
Last week was the fourth anniversary of my mother's death. I had a day of anxiety and grief that left me physically spent, but got distracted by the advent of the cold. I miss her. It's the most common thing in the world to lose a parent. If we haven't yet, we all soon will. And yet for every person it happens to, it's like it has never happened to anyone else ever.
Oh, and to my great relief, I have arranged with one of my best friends to be there when I eventually go in for the revision on my leg. (no set date, but the leg is getting worse and must be addressed sooner or later. See the doc next Tuesday, so may know more then) and it's a weight off my mind to know I have a plan in place for someone to sit in the waiting room and pass news to my dad and sisters when the time comes.
And that's me. On the whole, I am well and smiling and glad I'm here. I'd dance if I could.
This book looks interesting. I have always struggled with the notion of what to hold out for, what to accept when it comes to matters of love, the heart and relationships. I wonder often how much I have been brainwashed by one too many love songs. I am mostly the guy that guys flirt with right before they fall in love with or start relationships with someone else. Even worse, I'm the guy that they confide in once the guy they chose over me turns out to be a complete dick. And lest, you wonder about the state of my ego, despite any occasional swerves into self-pity, I know I am a catch. I'm smart, handsome, loving and loyal. The kind of guy that would be great to date. I know I am flawed. I am terrible with money, but it's my own money and not anyone else's and I'm working at improving. I can be demanding of people and I am working on that too. Like they sing in Rent "Life's too short, babe. Time is flyin'. I'm lookin' for baggage that goes with mine."
I seem to be a huge hit with Latino men these days. A couple of playmates eager for return engagements have been from Cuba and Ecuador respectively. And I have guys from Brazil and Argentina quite smitten with me online. Odd, but interesting.
As always, there are handsome men that I am in spinning, flirtatious orbit with. Which may or may not lead to play or dating or something. But, all too often, those orbits are unstable and suddenly decay, sending the object of the flirtation off into the ether never to be heard from again. Or in crackly, static filled dispatches from out in the dart reiterating interest, though they are nowhere to be seen on the star charts.
I am having a movie night with M, the guy that I met over Christmas, the one that promptly started seeing someone from the edges of my circle of friends (who is completely not good enough for M) Should be fun to hang out again. A teeny part of my brain is wondering at the possibilities of having him in my home, but I am too realistic to really anticipate any whack bang wiggle wiggle.
Have a cold, finally, after having remained healthy through the winter so far. This seems to be the time of year that it hits me. And, like the unpleasant guest, far overstays its welcome. Ah, the aging body. I remember when colds were out of my system withing three or four days. *sigh*
Still slowly doing edits for Chasing Cold, very slowly cutting bits out and cleaning up text. And it's sheer agony most days. Started notes on another book, tentative title, Blind Luck. About a guy who can change his own luck or the luck of those around him. An initial outflow of ideas, but the mechanics of the story are still eluding me.
Last week was the fourth anniversary of my mother's death. I had a day of anxiety and grief that left me physically spent, but got distracted by the advent of the cold. I miss her. It's the most common thing in the world to lose a parent. If we haven't yet, we all soon will. And yet for every person it happens to, it's like it has never happened to anyone else ever.
Oh, and to my great relief, I have arranged with one of my best friends to be there when I eventually go in for the revision on my leg. (no set date, but the leg is getting worse and must be addressed sooner or later. See the doc next Tuesday, so may know more then) and it's a weight off my mind to know I have a plan in place for someone to sit in the waiting room and pass news to my dad and sisters when the time comes.
And that's me. On the whole, I am well and smiling and glad I'm here. I'd dance if I could.