Time wounds all heels

[chronicpaint]

In between the bouts or anger and homicidal urge, I'm trying to figure out just why I'm so upset about this. I mean, it wasn't even three weeks. Some really good dates, and some hot sex, but no commitment or promises made. I should just walk away, right?

The problem is, it was never clear that it was just "fun"  We talked about the fact that we weren't really in the market for messing around, but were interested in being off the dating merry-go-round.

Then there was the "sit and talk for hours" thing. To me, that's a date thing, a "maybe there's something here" thing, not a "hey, wanna f*ck a couple of times?" thing.

But the thing that can be laid solely at my feet is the fact that I really liked him. To me, it didn't feel like other men I've seen or been out with or shagged. I honestly felt something deeper was going on, that there was potential there. I have been around enough to know the difference in my own perceptions of that. Or so I thought, anyway. Apparently, I'm in serious need of a tune-up in that regard.

I should have known that someone who struck me as that messed up back when we crossed paths three years ago wouldn't have changed. He may be medicated and stable, and not drinking any more, but the underlying personality was still there. Stupid me for thinking he had actually changed.

But the worst of all was the way he did it. Start off with doing it by instant message on Bear411 and then add the knife in the ribs comment of needing to focus his time and energy on finding a "good boyfriend". Talk about hitting below the belt and adding insult to injury. Like, what am I, @$$hole???  Talk about salt in the wound and hitting right on the most sensitive nerve.

Oh, well. As my friend, Sean, used to say: SCRAPE HIM OFF

And work on letting all of this stuff go

Comments

[delmarmar.livejournal.com]

Here's two from the Trite But True bin.

Live and learn.

Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.

You've lived it, you're learning from it, now that the bad apple is gone try another. When you're hungry for another, that is.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my head knows this. And I'm aware that this is just a phase, that it will pass and I'll move on.

I think I may avoid apples for a while, though ;)

[delmarmar.livejournal.com]

"Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches..."

LOL, I'm a little crazy sometimes. That song popped into my head because of your last line and I thought I'd just share the laugh (and the crazy).

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

:D The crazy and the laugh are welcome. Made me smile

[square-baker.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I had a few of those in San Francisco.

My heart is with you, mon ami.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

I think we've all been there at one point or another ;)

[muriel-puce.livejournal.com]

Chin up. :-)

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Getting there :)

[paterson-si.livejournal.com]

Hope you pull out of this shit soon, S! Really do!

Take care, ok?

Loads of hugs coming your way.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Thanks, beautiful. I am mending already. Nothing to do but move on :)

[tweekedcat.livejournal.com]

As a friend once told me, "The cock ain't worth it." Dude sounds like he didn't notice a good thing when he had it. You'll do better!

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Yeah. He's an idiot. Onward and upward

[pensivegargoyle.livejournal.com]

The cock might be worth it, the trouble is usually with the rest of what it's attached to.

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Amen to that!

[rainbear.livejournal.com]

Some men are the bacteria that feed on the scum that floats on the slime.

Obviously, he's one of them. Feel lucky you found out now. :HUGS:

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Break out the Lysol ;)

[pensivegargoyle.livejournal.com]

Wash that man right out of your hair! Since you don't have any, it'll be quick. :)

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Hehe. Bitch ;)

[sbuxor.livejournal.com]

hugs

he's obviously not worth your time. i think you would make a great boyfriend !!!

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

Oh, for sure. Already moved on

And you'd be an awesome boyfriend too

[sbuxor.livejournal.com]

thanks :-) that's nice of you to say

you know i am looking at moving to toronto in october / november ?

[chronicpaint.livejournal.com]

I did not know that :) It would make me happy to have you nearby so we could hang out